The making of “The Clam”

A phantom venereal disease with unusual symptoms

Fascinated with urban legends, rumors, folklore, myth, and the construction of consensus reality, a troubled loner creates a venereal disease and gives it a paper trail. Here's what happened…

• The Mollusca Information Center Homepage — Educating the public about this important issue.
• Symbiots, Parasites and Diseases: Taboo-based anticipatory labeling of “The Clam” — An article, purporting to originate from a new age magazine called Harmonic Dispatch about how “The Clam” isn’t really bad, just misunderstood.
• News from Medicine: New S.T.D. a Puzzle to Investigators — The original spoof in the series takes on the tone of a Sunday paper, folding the facts of the article around a narrative about the life of one of the disease’s victims. (Also found here)
• Sexual Promiscuity Will Lead to Irreparable Consequences for Some — a letter to the editor of a college paper (based on the genuine article) that mentions “The Clam” in passing.
• Search for “mollusca” futile? — Masquerading as a usenet post by a “Dr. Phillip Dwyer,” this raises a technical question about the disease (the type that seems unlikely to arise if the disease is fictional).
• Excerpts from “Into the Stretch” — Masquerading as an excerpt from an “on the campaign trail” type dispatch of the sort that were common during the 1996 U.S. Presidential Campaign, this raises the possibility that Bill Clinton has “The Clam.”
• Biological Warfare — This usenet post puts on the trappings of a conspiracy theorist speculating that mollusca is the product of an experimental U.S. biological warfare experiment.
• Good News From Medicine — A brief note about how mollusca is being researched in the laboratory as a way of helping infertile couples.
• The Clam Diggers — Responses to a personals ad posted to usenet by someone who claimed to be “clam-positive.”
• An example of a planted usenet story about the clam.
• A collection of usenet articles:
  • Re: Clam diggers — “It has zero long term effects, other than making you look silly on the net.” — Brad Templeton.
  • Re: The Clam — “It seemed real…” — Steve Mueller. (Plus a bonus troll)
  • Re: Remember, it's not a disease, it’s an opportunity! — “I dunno, seems like it’s legit.” — Greg Wolfe.
  • Re: Clinton has V.D. <- News report — “If I believed Clinton were an honest, honorable man I wouldn’t give it much credence, actually.” — “Charles.”
  • Re: Pink Elephants — “Minke” uses a quote from one of the clam articles in hir .sig!
  • Re: Clam info on-line — “You too can create your own urban legend.” — Ed Anderson.
  • Re: The "CLAM" Explained — “It’s a pity it’s a hoax.” — Chris Peek.
  • Re: As I thought, the CLAM is a joke — The net and urban legends — “Syphilis untreated can lead to a mental disturbance called paresis… not especially uncommon among prostitutes in the olden days, was known as ‘Cupid’s Disease’ because 1) it came from the act of love, and 2) it made you feel giddy and happy and, most tellingly, horny.” — Robert Matthews
  • Re: National Security, Clinton Style — “Why doesn’t Billy [Clinton] let us take a look into his ‘innocent’ health files? Hmmm? …Are you afraid we might find some sorid [sic.] disease that he either contracted or gave to Genny Flowers? You know that STD..yes, the clam.” — Art Krueger.
• The slo.sex Saga — A running debate in one newsgroup over the status (legit or bogus) of the disease.

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On This Day in Snigglery	May 30, 2005: The Billboard Liberation Front of San Francisco created “the world’s first animatronic billboard alteration: a life-sized figure of Ronald McDonald feeding a corpulent child his daily dose of Big Macs” (see Billboard Liberation for more).