Subject: Re: The "CLAM" Explained
From: cpeek@shore.intercom.net (Chris Peek)
Date: 1996/08/20
Message-ID: <4vddop$56n@shore4.intercom.net>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
It's a pity it's a hoax. The image of a young college student going
to his or her significant other and informing them they have the "THE
CLAM" makes for amusing speculation..
Biff: Muffy we've got to talk?
Muffy: Yes sweetheart?
BIff: I've been to the doctor at the free clinic and I'm afraid I've
got some bad news.
Muffy: The free clinic? I thought you were well off Biff?
Biff: We'll talk about that later Muffin...the doctor said I've got
"THE CLAM!
Muffy: Clams? Biff you know I don't have a good white wine for seafood
around here.
Biff: No,no Muffy not "clams" , "THE" _CLAM_.
Muffy: What the hell is "THE" CLAM Biff?
Biff: I'm not sure MUFFY but the Doc says it's pretty bad and he
thinks I might have to have my dingle removed.
Muffy: Your dingle! But Biff what about our future what about having
children?
Biff: The doc says that's no problem. They'll just take a sperm sample
while it's still here and we can do artifical insemination.
Buffy: No dingle.... and a test tube baby! I'm not sure this
relationship is going to work out Biff! I'll see you around.
Biff (weeping): But Muffy... wait!!...........DAMN CLAM!!
iayork@panix.com (Ian A. York) wrote:
>In article ,
>Kirk Kerekes wrote:
>>
>> - Molluscum contagiousum (or molluscum for short) is one of the common
>> - STD's that it seems hardly anyone hears of until they catch it.
>Note that this, like the Chlamydia other people have pointed to, has
>absolutely nothing to do with the symptoms of "The Clam" hoax as
>described on, umm, whatever that URL was.
>T: There are a whole bunch of sexually transmitted diseases.
>T: You probably haven't heard of a lot of them.
>T: Some of them have names that are vaguely suggestive of "The Clam".
>T: None of them have symptoms as described for "The Clam".
>F: "The Clam" is a real disease.
>If anyone is interested, Bernie Moss has just finished sequencing the
>entire genome of molluscum contagiosum (except for the covalently closed
>terminal repeats, of course) - it was just reported in Science, and the
>sequence is available in genebank. Bernie commented on a number of
>interesting points about MC, most interesting of which was the observation
>that it encodes a homologue of the class I major histocompatibility
>complex (though, interestingly, with the peptide-binding site altered) -
>which makes it intriguingly reminiscent of the unrelated virus human
>cytomegalovirus, doesn't it?
>Anyone who posts more on this may be interested to hear my detailed
>analysis of the significance of the C-C chemokine receptor also encoded by
>MC.
>Ian
>--
> Ian York (iayork@panix.com)
> "-but as he was a York, I am rather inclined to suppose him a
> very respectable Man." -Jane Austen, The History of England