YahwehBenYahweh is the Grand Master of the Celestial Lodge, Architect of the Universe, and the Blessed and only Potentate. He is here to set the captives free and to cause them that are bound to stand perpendicular on the square of righteousness. He is also doing time on a RICO conviction after he and several other Yahwehists were convicted of conspiracy in more than a dozen murders.

One court document describes a scene that sounds like it could be in a blaxploitation screenplay:

Racketeering Act 5: Homicide of Leonard Dupree.

Because Dupree was known to be a karate expert, Yahweh openly challenged him to fight Lightburn, the Yahwehs' resident martial-arts expert. The two men squared off in front of about 30-60 Yahweh onlookers. Dupree quickly knocked Lightburn down, at which point Yahweh ordered all present, including Ingraham and Maurice, to attack Dupree. Ingraham struck Dupree in the face with a tire jack. Dupree was literally beaten to death. During the struggle, Gaines locked the doors of the Temple at Yahweh's request. Yahweh allowed no one to leave and made everyone, including women and children, strike and kick Dupree's lifeless body. Dupree's body has never been found.

But the reason I'm telling you all this is because now you can get the T-shirt. artwareforthecelestial.com includes a number of great Yahweh-inspired shirts, including The God Head (suspiciously similar to the pyramid-laden Great Seal on the dollar), Ezekiel's vision of Yahweh's Glory (a flying-saucer-shaped glory, as you might suspect), Adam & Eve's Expulsion from The Garden (by a flying saucer), a photo of YBY himself, and something described as:

OUR
CHEMICAL
ELEMENTS

Hebrew Children`s
Academy

Have pictures of
your children in
culture, floating in
the elements.

I know this is a bit late for the holiday gift-giving season, but there are always those birthdays and weddings...

Late breaking news flash: Cult Leader to be Freed in Days

Yup - Yahweh Ben Yahweh (seen here in this courtroom sketch) is out on parole - and on a tight leash: prohibited not only from hanging out with his old congregation, but from any form of speech by telephone, computer, radio or television if such medium could place him in contact with a member of the Hebrew Israelite religion.

A ruling on a (failed) appeal, U.S. v. Yahweh Ben Yahweh (792 F. Supp. 104) starts:

Violent crime cases are the exception in federal courts. The instant case is arguably the most violent case ever tried in a federal court: the indictment charges the sixteen defendants on trial with 14 murders by means such as beheading, stabbing, occasionally by pistol shots, plus severing of body parts such as ears to prove the worthiness of the killer. Plus, they are charged with arson of a slumbering neighborhood by molotov cocktails with the perpetrators under orders to wait outside the innocent victims' homes wearing ski masks and brandishing machetes to deter the victims from fleeing the flames.

To U.S.A. Today, however, Y-B-Y is best described in this way: His mission is to gather peace and to establish the the theocratic government of God by executing the laws, statutes, judgments and commandments of God.

They convicted Y-B-Y, only of conspirary, not murder, and that only because of the testimony of Robert Rozier, former NFL player, who admitted to several of the murders and testified in return for a lighter sentence. He was relocated to California under the witness protection program, and then, like a complete dummy, got caught passing bad checks, for which he's gonna do a harsh 25 to Life under California's Three Strikes law. Whoops!