September 27, 1996
In a move aimed at eliminating the need for an exorbitant municipal tax this year, your city, acting in conjunction with the ministry, will begin a substantial harvest of hardwood trees currently standing on city property. As a result city logging crews will begin harvesting October 1 to effect removal of 5,000 trees in city parks and along city streets and boulevards.
This program will capitalize on the current high market values of oak and maple lumber and, in addition will provide much needed workfare opportunities for the newly implemented Community Placement Program.
The harvesting through the Community Placement Program is part of an overall provincial initiative to reduce municipal deficits through the liquidation of assets held as renewable resources. In the case of timber harvesting it will also help reduce city budgets for tree maintenance and sidewalk and road repairs made necessary by troublesome tree root systems.
Please note that all trees marked with fluorescent tape are slated for removal. Homeowners and residents with specific complaints should make use of the judicial appeal procedure which has been provided for by calling (416) 314-2301.
We trust that in support of the local economy and keeping the environment healthy citizens of Ontario will accommodate the temporary inconvenience of increased noise levels and road detours. Citizens should note that our pro-active replanting program will ensure the reforestation of Ontario city streets and parks within the next 125 years.
|On This Day in Snigglery||April 7, 1996: Monica Lewinsky blows Bill Clinton while he’s on the phone with Dick Morris, continuing Operation Clusterfuck. (See Guerrilla Hacks for more creative assaults on authority)|