In a central California town in the early 1990s, a group of college students invented the Lambda Sigma Delta (LSD — get it?) fraternity. A number of sweatshirts were sewn-up with colorful greek letters, and a sandwich board was painted for the local college’s “Rush Week” along with posters with the fraternity letters, motto “Ale Caput Tuum” (“feed your head” in Latin), and the “Rush Week” slogan “Wow, what a rush!”
Letters-to-the-editor were printed in two local papers. They’re reproduced here:
IN PRAISE OF GREEKS
It’s that time of year again, when the beautiful morning
glory vines that line the banks of S—— Creek, confused
by our Central Coast weather, start dropping their seeds.
This natural process has become a bit of a hazard in
Because of the danger these seeds pose to pedestrians
in M—— Plaza, particularly children and the elderly,
and because our understaffed maintenance crews can only
occasionally sweep the seeds off the paths, there have been
calls by some to replace the beautiful flowers with iceplant
or some other ground cover.
Rather than take this step, we asked community volunteers
to manually strip the seed pods from the vines before the
pods could break. We received an overwhelming response from
the Lambda Sigma Delta fraternity of C——. In a time when
we’re hearing so many negative things about our youth, it
was heartening to see their selfless community spirit.
Morning Glory seeds contain small amounts of lysergic-acid amides, and yes, you can get high if you eat enough. “Delysid” was the first trade-name for LSD when it was marketed by Sandoz. The other letter:
THANKS FOR HELP
The members of the Lambda Sigma Delta biochemistry honor
society would like to extend our sincere thanks to members
of the community who participated in our weekend bake-a-thon.
All expenses of the event were borne by Lambda Sigma Delta
and the community volunteers, and as a result, 100 percent
of the money raised will go directly to the Human Neurotrans-
mitter Bioassay Project.
Ellis D. Assid
This letter probably needs less explanation, but it’s worth pointing out that “bake” is a drug-culture euphemism for “get high on marijuana” and “bioassay” implies testing a drug by taking it.
|On This Day in Snigglery||June 17, 2007: Someone inserts footage of a nuclear explosion and mushroom cloud into the boilerplate background footage on a Czech television station’s weather report. (See News Trolls for more tomfoolery)|