Jello Biafra

San Francisco Bay Guardian: What's the significance of cloning a sheep? On a metaphorical level, does it bode ill for the future?
Jello Biafra: I don't see why people are so upset about cloning sheep. American television networks have been doing that to their audiences for years. I'm hoping that the cloning apparatus will be taken away from scientists and corporations and handed over to the darker side of the art world. Imagine the gene splicing that could be done by Survival Research Labs. And anything a sheep farmer could do with cloning, Gwar could do far better. I also think it might be the next step for rebellious teenagers. Maybe the way to shock Mom with her tummy tuck and breast implants and Dad with his pectoral implants is to sneak down to the doctor and have devil horns implanted in your head. Maybe a long Clockwork Orange nose, too. Now that even Republican secretaries have piercings, it's the next step. After that comes creative gene splicing. Imagine people getting inspired by old movies and deciding to graft Rosie Grier's head onto their own shoulders.

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On This Day in SniggleryJune 25, 2001: Michael Kinsley, editor of Slate, finally admits that the magazine’s report on the bizarre sport of monkey fishing was “willful inaccuracy.” (See News Trolls for more info)